Sunday, July 17, 2016

Police Kitteh's Report

Mrrp? Meow! This is Miss Tina Marie Maine Coon.  I have completed my 1st mission for the Catmerica Police Department (CPD). I used my bottle-brush tail to dust for prints. I used the rest of my furs too. The Man Human was so happy that we played chase with the broom!

Later I went on patrol with Sheriff Rosco P. Catrane in Meowmie Debby's room. I padded around and sniffed everything.  Lilith Kitten Mahoney did not like me being in there.  She yowled at me.  I remembered my Gentle Giant Maine Coon Manners and mewed at her.  Then I meatloafed and flopped onto my side to show her my bellyfurs.  I made sure she knew she was still Top Cat.  I just want to be friends with Lilith, even though she doesn't like me.

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Kittehs Report!

Nurse Cat's Report.  I scolded Meowmie Debby for getting off The Bed.  She has an earache and needs me to take care of her.  We are having thunderboomers, too.  I have to protect Meowmie from those because they are scary.  And I can do both of those things if Meowmie would just stay on the bed!  Meowmie is such an ingrate!  She doesn't know how lucky she is to have her own nurse kitteh to take care of her and protect her from thunderboomers!  I have to sniff her and rub her every few minutes to make sure she's alright.

Sheriff Rosco P. Catrane was just on High Patrol.  He reports that the rain was so bad that he could not see over to the next building.  We kittehs are naturally farsighted so you know the rain had to be bad.

Miss Tina Marie Maine Coon reports that she is helping The Man Human get ready for a Purim party.  The Man Human is thrilled that she is shedding and rolling all over the nice clothes he plans to wear.  He keeps putting her on the floor and she keeps getting back up on the clothes.  She just got done telling him what-for, in her little Maine Coon meow, so I think he's going to let her keep the clothes.

Purrs & Headbonks,
Lilith Kitten Mahoney, Age 15
Nurse Cat & Diabeticat
for The Feline Contingent

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Nurse Cat's Report

This is Lilith Kitten Mahoney, Nurse Cat & Diabeticat, reporting for The Feline Contingent.

I was in the middle of one of my many morning naps on The Bed with my human when I heard a noise.  RATTATATTATATTA!  I mewed at the human.  "It's outside.  Go back to sleep," she said.

I purred and cheek-rubbed her toes.  But as soon as I put my head down, I heard The Noise again!  RATTATATTATATTA!  SWISHSWISH!  I got a little startled and landed on my back.  I wasn't able to flip myself over because I am an old lady cat and a bit floofy.  My human had to do it.  She also gave me a belly-rub.

Then I went on patrol.  I sniffed at all the walls where I thought The Noise was coming in from.  It went away for a while.  When it came back, I gave it a good chattering to...


Me:  ChatterChatterChatter!


Me:  ChatterChatterChatter!

Even my cousin-cat, Sheriff Rosco P. Catrane, helped out!  He didn't chatter at The Noise when he found it on High Patrol.  He yowled at it...


Rosco:  YOWL!  YOWL!  YOWL!  YOWL!



My other cousin-cat, Miss Tina Marie, decided to get involved.  But she's part Maine Coon, so she has a big floofy body with a little teeny meow.  She thought she could defend Sheriff Rosco and me against The Noise with her bottle brush tail  HA!  My tortietude trumps her bottle brush tail every time!

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Daily Report - 12 June 2014

Testing 1-2-3!
Testing 1-2-3!

The Feline Contingent wishes to file a report. . .

Lilith Kitten Mahoney, Senior Nurse Cat & Diabeticat, got lost in the bathroom when she hid from the thunderboomers ad rainmonsters in The Out. Staff rescued her and put her on The Bed for safekeeping (and a cuddle). Lilith subsequently went hunting under the fitted sheet after she watched Staff make The Bed.
Sheriff Rosco P. Catrane, Age 9, went on High Patrol in Staff's bedroom and decided to stay awhile. He took several long naps on the foot of The Bed, while The Man Human tore the rest of the house apart looking for him.
Miss Tina Marie Maine Coon, Age 9, is blowing her coat as all members of the Maine Coon Patrol do at this time of year. However, Tina chooses to specifically blow her coat only after she is sure Staff has swept the entire Downstairs.
Fangu. That is all.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014


Testing 1-2-3!

Testing 1-2-3!

Meow?  RAWR!

We are The Feline Contingent and we are taking over!  We are fed up with our staff spending all her time on the internet and ignoring us!  Here's what we did to start our revolt:

Lilith Kitten Mahoney:  I'm not speaking to the staff because she left and came back smelling like Walmart!  She didn't even bring me any noms!

Rosco P. Catrane:  I redecorated the counter-tops in the kitchen, and when the staff got home I made sure she saw me redecorate them again!

Miss Tina Marie:  I hurked in several places and tried to bury it with my toys.  Then I didn't tell the staff until it was almost dry.

Oh, wait, now the staff has noms!  <Three kitties go running.>  See mew later!